100 WC

November 5, 2016

It was the dead of night! John was leaving his friends house. He climbed onto his old and rusty bike. The sky was pitch black. Suddenly he started hearing eerie noises . As he was riding he started to hear footsteps. His heart was beating like a wild animal trying to escape a cage. When he went slow the footsteps went slow, when he went fast the footsteps got fast. Finally when he got home he look back and when the smoke cleared and saw a puppy! He was relived. Well he learnt to never ever go outside at the dead of night.

3 Responses to “100 WC”

  1. Avril Dalton said:

    HI Paul, What a lovely story. You created a lot of tension and your opening sentence really pulled me in and encouraged me to keep reading. I loved the twist at the end. I was expecting something much more sinister but was delighted it was a puppy. I was relieved too!

  2. Jack said:

    Very good descriptive language, but one thing that could be improved is the flow of the writing e.g. “The sky was pitch black. Suddenly he started heating eerie noises.” but over all a very good story (and slightly over 100 words)

  3. Peach said:

    Your story has a very great starter and ending. You story is very clear but it could be better if you check the spelling.

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